Success Blog #2″Rock Bottom”

Rock Bottom for me was jail, and a federal conspiracy felony to go with it. I won’t get into the details about that in this entry. But I will say that it came from being one of the many misguided inner city youth without a positive role model in his life. Just know that I was never a bad person, and never harmed anyone. Just got caught up in the inner city street culture, glorifying gangsters, trying to be cool and all that. But that landed me in jail, and it was a crazy experience.

JAIL

When we think about jail, I believe the fears are getting beat up, shanked, or raped by a scary looking dude with tattoos on his face. All those terrifying scenes we see on TV and the movies. However, with my experience in jail, those things weren’t really much of a problem. I came to learn that the horrific aspect of jail was the boredom.

I use an analogy of a bathroom when trying to describe the horrific experience of being in jail. Imagine your bathroom, imagine taking everything out of your bathroom, all the cleaning products, all the pictures, the mirror, everything, leaving nothing in that room except for one roll of toilet paper. From there, imagine sitting in that empty bathroom for 45 minutes, with nothing to look at but the bare walls. What would you do? How would you spend that 45 minutes with nothing to stimulate your mind and keep you occupied? If that sounds bad, imagine doing that for over 24 hours. That right there was the horrific part of jail that I wasn’t prepared for.

And on top of that it wasn’t your bathroom that I was sitting in. Imagine a filthy and disgusting public bathroom. That’s where I had to sit for over 24 hours when I first arrived in jail, and it was the closest thing to torture that I have ever experienced. That lack of mental stimulation, only having four white disgusting walls to look for over 24 hours was unbearable. And there’s nothing I could do about it.

It’s interesting how I never thought about a situation like that before being in it. It’s not something we come close to encountering out in the world, maybe getting stuck in an elevator or something.

The first thing I thought to do to pass the time was sleep. But, on top of all the horrible things I mentioned, I forgot to add that there were four super long fluorescent tube light bulbs blaring down on me in that tiny room, so I couldn’t sleep. On top of that it was very cold. I’m not sure I believe this now, but at the time I was sure that the conditions in that room were precisely set up to break someone down. And it broke me down for sure.

I consider myself one of the most in control people I know. I never throw temper tantrums, never road rage, and never lose my temper. But by the 26th hour, I lost it, I couldn’t take the lack of mental stimulation anymore. Luckily around that time, a guard came and got me, to take me out of that receiving cell and take me to the normal more permanent cells.

I started pleading to that guard, to please give me a book or something, anything to occupy my mind. When I got to the normal pod, things weren’t as unbearable. It still sucked, but I had books I could read, a window to look out of, and people to talk to. I spent the next three weeks in that pod, until I was able to bond out.

I was happy on that final day, knowing that I was going to leave that terrible place to go home. But, they had one more departing gift for me before I left. I had to sit in that same horrible torture room for another 14 hours, waiting for them to process my release. It was just as horrific as it was the first time. Not having any idea when they were coming to get me was hard to deal with. It could have been in the next minute or next couple hours. It just sucked so bad.

But eventually they did get me, and walked me out the doors into the free world. I remember thinking to myself as I was walking away from that place  that I would never do another crime again. I would never do anything that would put me in risk of having to return to that horrible place.

Every now ant then I hear people complain how jail doesn’t rehabilitate people. Well, that place rehabilitated the %$#@ out of me.

So, I knew I was never going to do crime again. And thought to myself what should I do next? And the first thing that came to my mind was try school, go to college.

And that right there was the rock bottom moment when I turned my life around.

Success Blog #1

sb

 

Hello, welcome to my blog!!

This blog is the story of a crazy journey to accomplish all my life goals. From some pretty bad bottoms that few have experienced, all the way to the to the top,  we will cover it all, and all the great lessons and experiences that came with it.

The picture that you see is the exact view I am looking at as I’m sitting on my couch writing this. And I must say that the camera isn’t doing it justice. It’s way more spectacular in person. The sunlight reflecting off of the water, all the beautiful boats and cruise ships sailing by. Of course I can’t forget the beautiful clouds and sky. And I should also mention the breathtaking Manhattan skyline which is right around the corner of that building.

I’m not talking about that to be materialistic, or to blow it up like it’s something super spectacular. I’m mentioning it because this was my number one vision for what I wanted in my life when I started this journey just a few years ago. And now I’m here, and it amazes me every day how I got exactly what I wanted.

But, the funny thing is that I’m not any more happy than I was before I got here. There are just as many worries and stressful situations trying to maintain and continue to grow as there were working to get here.

It goes to show that material things don’t bring you happiness. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy and try to obtain them. Looking back, my happiest moments were my brokest moments. When I was grinding and doing all the amazing work to get here.

So now it’s time to get back on that horse for the next amazing journey!

My first set of goals that I have accomplished in the past few years were all superficial titles. College Graduate, MBA, Finance Professional, blah blah blah. They’re all great things to have, and I’m proud of them, and I dreamed of getting them so much on my way there.But now they don’t really have an impact on my day to day life.

The next journey is finding my perfect career. One that doesn’t feel like work. Finding that one thing that I’m great at. Being excited to wake up in the morning and going to work every day. They say when you find your true calling, you never work another day in your life. And I will never give up until I find that. And I know I will soon, just like I did everything else I set out to do.

I heard a great quote from Mark Cuban a few weeks ago. He said on the Howard Stern show, to not follow your dreams, instead follow your effort. He also advised to take a look at yourself, and try to find the things you can do for hours without struggling. Well, writing in my journal telling my stories is definitely one of those things for me.

So let’s start a blog and tell those stories of how I got here, and where I’m going, and see where it takes us!